Flirt Coaching- How I got started
"I just read your article on attraction addiction, and I am the person you
are describing. I have spent my whole life looking for the man who will fulfil
me and make me whole. Anyway, I wanted to say thanks. I'm definitely going to
buy your book from Amazon." WM - USA
You Can Have It All
Despite my reputation as a social butterfly there was a time when I used to
dread going to parties in case anyone asked me that dreaded question 'What do
YOU do'. I'd crawl inside myself and mutter with my hand over my mouth 'at the
moment I'm working as a secretary' and rapidly change the subject. I hated the
work I was doing and I was bad tempered, miserable and resentful of everyone
else around me. I'd sit at my computer typing letters written by someone ten
years younger and considerably less intelligent than me. I'd moan to myself
'It's not fair, I should be doing this job not working as her lackey'.
For a long time I believed that I'd been dealt a bum card. But as I found out,
there are no bum cards in life, just bum ways of dealing with what comes up. And
the deal you first get needn't be the deal you end up with.
At my private school for young ladies, to which I'd won a scholarship, I was a
rare creature who found it easy to excel while still breaking every rule in the
book. If there were some mischief to get into, I'd be at the centre of it. My
teachers had me lined up as a front-runner in the 'how many girls can we get
into Oxford?' game. I had other ideas. I did end up at university... but not for
long. The first year was spent answering the call of the sixties, but after a
year of very little work, pitiful sex, too many drugs and a heavy dollop of rock
and roll, I quit.
After tolerating six months of my wild behaviour, my despairing parents enrolled
me at the very respectable St James Secretarial College. It was populated by
girls who were whiling away the time until some suitable young man in finance
whisked them away to a life of Range Rovers, babies and dinner parties in the 'burbs.
I always thought that this would be a fallback skill and that I'd never work as
a secretary but it didn't quite work out the way I planned. Not surprisingly, I
was not a very good secretary. One of my bosses, who remained a good friend,
told me later that I was probably the worst secretary he'd ever had, but they
put up with me because the clients loved me and I was good fun. Already a
pattern was forming but it took me a long time to recognise it, after doing a
lot of typing and shorthand.
One year into my secretarial 'career', I started work as PA to the UK publisher
of Forum (hmmm yes I do mean that magazine still to be found on top shelves and
in bedside drawers of many respectable married couples). Much as I loved my
boss, three months of letter taking, lunch booking and present buying in such a
creative and fun environment was more than I could bear. I demanded to be given
something more interesting to do. Thankfully Al Freedman, my boss, recognised my
potential.
The following month my name appeared on the masthead as Assistant Editor. My
duties included opening all the letters (no, they are NOT made up by the
staff!), writing a monthly news column culled from all the sexy stories in the
papers and telling men over the telephone how to overcome premature ejaculation
by using the 'squeeze' technique. This was a somewhat 'rude' awakening, in both
senses of the word...
Was I now on a straight path to my career as the Flirt Coach and author? Not
exactly. Although this period of my life was to be a significant piece in the
jigsaw I didn't realise it at the time. I didn't know what I wanted and quit the
job on a 'romantic' whim. Passing through Beirut for one night on my way back
from a holiday in Egypt, I ended up staying six weeks with a handsome man living
a dangerous adventure. 'Handsome Man' turned out to be very possessive and
coming rapidly to my senses, I hopped on a plane home.
All my adventures (and I was to have many more like the Beirut escapade) were, I
now realise, a way of trying to compensate for the lack of fulfilment in my
life. When I wasn't doing crazy things or going off the rails, I felt bad but I
couldn't see a way out of it. I flitted from job to job in some frenzied search
for fulfilment. The future looked grim.
I've done so many jobs I can't even remember most of them. I was at times a
computer programmer, nightclub waitress, computer training manager, shop girl,
estate agent, restaurateuse, video presenter and I even did a stint on one of
George Michael's world tours. The list is very long.
And then one day in the late eighties I found myself in a bookshop in San
Francisco thumbing through a book called Wishcraft – How to Get What You Really
Want by Barbara Sher. It was my moment of awakening. Suddenly I realised that I
didn't have to continue to do what I'd always done and that there was another
way.
When people book onto my flirting courses I ask them what they do and if they
like it. I listen for the clues in their response. The pauses, the breathing
pattern and the tone of their voice often tell me more than their words. I'd
say about 70% of them are not happy in their work. Reluctant accountants are
longing to write and bored computer analysts dream of opening dog rescue homes.
It's not surprising that people are having a hard time finding love when they
can't even muster up enough love to please themselves.
Everyone has a dream and if you're living yours, fantastic. If not, it may be
buried deep inside or bubbling under the surface. And sooner or later it has to
come out or you are doomed. Whatever deal you've been dealt you can change it.
And unlike most card games in the game of life, you can continue to draw new
cards until you get the hand you want.
And like me you may find that the so-called bum cards you thought you
were dealt along the way are not quite as 'bum' as they first appeared. My demon
touch typing and intimate knowledge of word processing enable me to write
speedily and efficiently. My own search for fulfilment has made it possible for
me to understand what other people are going through and help them uncover their
own dreams.
Sometimes getting started is simply a matter of allowing yourself to be
open to that first kick-start or catalyst.
The call can come in many ways. You may pick up a book like Flirt Coach because
you think that a relationship will solve your problems and end up realising that
the only person who's going to solve your problems is YOU. A friend may drag you
along to a talk where you feel that first dart of inspiration deep in your
heart. You may pick up a magazine that you'd never usually buy and read an
article that makes you stop and think. Clicking onto this website may be the
start of something very exciting.
Whichever way it comes in, when you recognise that there is more out there and
that you can have some of it, you're halfway along the road to success I
don't guarantee that it'll be 'easy' but I do guarantee it will change your life
for ever.
Despite the long and winding journey, I did find that path and here I am now
writing this and thinking how much I love my life and wondering what's next...
How about you?
If you want to find out more, check out courses with Peta
