There is no “answer” to great flirting…no flirting tips or secrets hidden online or anywhere else that will transform how you do it. The truth is, Great Flirts have certain qualities. They flirt freely and they are cheeky flirts and they flirt with everyone. They flirt sexually and they flirt for fun. They have flirty looks, flirty voices and flirty ways.
Super flirting comes from the inside out.
So what are the 7 magical qualities of great flirts?
Being you at your flirtatious best
- Remind yourself daily of what you are good at and how you are at your best
- Remember, you leak the truth from every pore – leak confidence, fun and interest
- Others will like you only as much as you like yourself
The Art of Flirtatious Rapport
- Pace and match their voice tone, speed of speech and rhythm of speech and movement,
- Interest – ed = Interest – ing. Ask they about what they love, listen to them and see how good they feel
- People like people who are like themselves. How flexible are you?
Velvet Voice and Flirty Moves
- Your voice sends sound waves to all parts of the body, – it generates feelings in people
- Use your voice well and make people feel good, use it badly and you could lose out
- Learn to move with fluidity, open your body, take up more space, take movement/dance classes buy a Gabrielle Roth CD or wait until late 2005 when my movement CD will be included in the Irresistible Attraction CD set…
- Imagine a string connecting the top of your head to the sun and from your soles down to the powerful core of the earth. Focus your attention on the point 2 inches below your navel and breathe in and out. Martial artists use this method to centre themselves and gain inner strength
Flirty Eye-Power
- We communicate thoughts, feelings and powerful stuff through the eyes. Use them well
- Eye contact can be deep, long and sexy or short, defocused and dismissive
- If you want someone to be attracted to you, look at them, frequently! They need clear signals!
- For one day pretend you are dispensing goodwill sunshine and smile at as many people as poss!
Be a Flirt Warrior
- It’s not about you – if they say ‘no’ they are just making a decision that is right for them. Move on!
- NO! = NEXT! NO-NEXT-NO-NEXT-NO-NEXT-YES!!!!!!! IT’S THEIR STUFF
- Could be 1000 reasons why they say no – so stop beating yourself up and start talking nice to yourself.
- Find someone who matches your values and lifestyle AND find someone who likes you
How to know if they’re flirting with you
- Go out with a notebook and study flirting signals in a social situation; become a signal expert
- Shut up inside and look, listen and sharpen your senses. Spend time being present and aware!
- Pay attention to small changes – skin colour, eyes, pupils, face muscles, breathing, body posture
- Find someone who’s a great flirt hang out with them..How do they do it..? take notice
- What you think about determines the kind of signal you send out. Get a friend to monitor your sexual come-ons so you can be more aware of what you’re doing and change it.
- Standing slightly off to one side is less threatening in a first encounter. Don’t con FRONT.
- Be aware of non-verbal signs of discomfort, moving back, looking away, eyes deglazing, pupils getting smaller, fidgeting. Watch out for moving away, wincing, looking away, breathing, eyes not so smiley
The art of flirting with compliments
- What’s good about you? Be ready to accept compliments graciously – arguing with the compliment is like throwing back a gift in someone’s face!
- Take compliments to heart and throw criticism over your shoulder when you’ve learnt from it
- Notice what’s good about friends/colleagues/lovers and tell them. Don’t wait till it’s too late!
Anyone can learn to flirt because all of us were born flirts. It’s just a case of getting back the power to flirt with confidence.
with love
Peta – The Flirt Coach
