These advanced flirting tips are a series of articles designed to help you understand people’s actions, movements, language and looks. What if you could become a master of body language signals? Do you think that would improve your flirting? We do!
Most of the basic flirting tips we and others offer are much the same. Be confident, smile, make eye contact, make the first move, ask interesting questions etc. But what about when you actually get into the conversation?
Imagine if you could literally read what someone else is thinking about while they are flirting. That might be a really cool skill to have.
If you’ve watched the US TV series ‘Lie to Me’ it gives you constant input on the meaning of facial expressions and other body language. Check out the video posted below, from the series to get your first taste of the meaning of different facial body language expressions.
Advanced Flirting Tip 1 – Knowing when you get too close.
In our flirting weekends we used to do a great exercise to test how aware people are of another persons signals. We wanted people to learn first hand ‘how do you know when you are getting too close’. When I asked the group before the exercise ‘how do you know you’re flirting too close? Most of them said ‘the person moves back’. This is incorrect. That’s how you know when you have GOT too close already which is too late because you’ve already over flirted!
I had people stand opposite each other about 10 ft away and asked one of them to stand still and the other to walk towards their partner. I told them to breathe and focus on the other person and to stop when they thought they were getting too close.
Afterwards we asked people what told them to stop. Some of them were over cautious, not focusing on observing body language, but listening to their own fear, so they stopped way too son. Others went way to close and said ‘well he moved back’.. But some of them noticed little anomalies in the faces.
What to look for to know you’re getting too close and be able to move back before you overwhelm your flirting ‘partner’.
1. Eyes narrow
2. Chin moves down and into the neck a little
3. Movement at the corners of the mouth
Another thing they noticed was the variation in the amount of personal space people required. You’ll read flirting tips that tell you to stand a uniform number of feet from your partner, but this doesn’t work because everyone is different. Instead you need to observe what’s going on in the micro muscular body language movements of everyone you talk to and act accordingly.
If you see the 3 signs above, stop moving closer. We also discovered that it’s easier to flirt if you are standing off at an angle to someone rather than head on. So next time you want to approach someone, do it from a 30 degree angle instead of head on. It makes them feel less threatened.
Happy flirting and enjoy becoming a flirting body language expert
Watch this video from ‘Lie to Me’ and then get hold of the series. It’ll give you lots of clues, in a great storyline, as to what to look for when reading body language, not just for lying, but for many other situations.
