How to make yourself and someone else feel great
Think of all the people you really like, friends, family, colleagues, lovers. When was the last time you told them what you liked about them? Flirting isn’t just about trying to attract a mate, it’s about having a flirty and loving attitude towards people around you.
People love to be praised, encouraged, admired and loved. Sometimes we work too hard, or worry too much that we forget to be nice to those around us. I devised this flirty game to help you develop more harmonious connections with those around you. Use it wisely and often and you will see the benefits.. There are instructions for how to play it in a relationship with a lover and with friends/colleagues.
In a Relationship
First make sure you and your partner are at ease and have some time to yourself [you only need about 10 minutes].
Tell your partner you have something to say to them.
Start by saying ‘What I like/love about you is…
List out all the things you do like/love about them.
Notice how good it feels and their reactions [bet they smile]
Then say to them
What do you like about me?
When they’ve finished their list
Ask them
What about me irritates you?
Be prepared to listen to their feedback. It might be something you want to change e.g. my boyfriend told me I say ‘you know what I mean’ a helluva lot. I do want to recognize this and not slip into cliché phrases. If it is something you recognize might be useful to change, thank them and ask them for help if appropriate. It might be something that you think you can’t change or don’t even want to. This may be an area for you to discuss, at another time maybe.
Then ask them if you can tell them what irritates you about them. DON’T take this as an opportunity to moan. Pick on something you think they would be open to discussing and you might be able to compromise on e.g. “You nag me when we go shopping together’ You might talk about it and discover that you can do shopping some other way rather than continue what is not working for you.
At the end of it, smile and ask them nicely to say again one thing they like about you. Make eye contact while you do it. Keep the good feelings and tell them one thing you like about them. It can be a repeat of something already said.
Discuss how it made you feel
Make time to discuss any issues that arise
Resolve to do it regularly..
With Friends/Colleagues
Make a list of everyone you like, admire and then write down next to their names what you like, admire about them. Then TELL THEM at the next possible opportunity.
Ask someone if they have a moment and then tell them I just wanted to tell you that I like/admire you because…. then say it. e.g. “You’ve always been there for me when I’ve wobbled”. “Your advice really helped me with that project, thank you”.
Don’t expect them to respond.. just give it for the sake of giving and for the good feelings it gives you and them and it’s a great flirty way to enhance your friendships and working relationships.
