Flirting
Academy - Guardian
Article
First for Flirting - UK's only Flirting Academy
The
Guardian article that started all the press interest
Ready, steady, flirt
Angelique Chrisafis on the new coquette
Monday January 11, 1999
Peta Heskell is a teacher of feminine charm. 'Not seduction, but a
subtle brand of playful flirtation that can raise self-esteem, cure
depression and advance your career.' This month, the 46-year-old
therapist opens The Flirtation Workshop, an academy for aspiring
flirts in London, to instruct both men and women in the art of
'attracting and enchanting others'.
Flirting, Heskell claims, is the 'new social order', socially and
professionally. Bitch is out. Coquette is in. 'I want to set the
record straight for flirtatious women,' she says. She is outraged
that society encourages masculine charm while female flirts are
condemned as flighty teases.
Psychoanalyst Adam Phillips agrees. In his book On Flirtation, he
writes: 'Despite the impossibility of flirting by yourself, flirts
are traditionally considered to be women.' Since Dr Johnson's first
dictionary definition of a flirt as a 'pert young hussy', women who
smile and lead men on have been seen as deserving of sexual
harassment or worse.
Heskell claims all this is changing. 'Women are now using
flirtatious charm as a means to empowerment. Gone are the Thatcher
days when women had to assume masculine identities in order to get
on.' Flirtation is taught in a weekend seminar. For £250,
participants start with a crash course in 'charm counselling' - a
brainstorming session on the meaning of the word 'flirt'.
This is followed by a discussion of their own charm techniques and
later the field exercise, in which, to experience 'the positive
response charm can bring', participants go out into the street and
compliment strangers on their appearance.
But why the need for lessons? According to anthropologist Kate Fox,
author of the Social Issues Research Centre's Guide to Flirting: 'We
are experiencing a Victorian paternalistic revival.' As a result:
'Flirtophobic codes of conduct have been introduced in rife flirting
zones such as universities and workplaces. People are confused as to
how to behave and look for guidelines.'
If
you live in the United States, you can order
my new book via this USA link.
'Flirt
Coach' on
amazon.com'
If
you live in the UK or Eire, you can order
my new book via
this UK link
'Flirt
Coach' on
amazon.co.ukn.co.uk
If this is a trend, it comes from the US. Californian comedy writer
turned 'flirtation guru' Ross Jeffries has made millions from his
masterclasses in 'courtship skills for the modern man'. He now has
85,500 visitors a month to his website and 60,000 'pupils', paying
vast sums to learn body language and one-liners. He has sold the
rights to a film of his life story and launched an international
lecture tour for 'business professionals challenged by charm'.
Heskell, meanwhile, targets women, too. 'Flirtation is an
instinctive social skill we are born with,' she insists. 'If a baby
wants to attract attention, it can cry or, more effectively, it can
coo and melt your heart. As sexually mature adults, we are taught
not to demand attention and this instinct is repressed. I help
people recover that skill.' Let's hope flirtation, by nature
playful, does not die out when taken too seriously.
©
Copyright
The Guardian 1999
Read
what the Sunday Times said
about the Flirting Academy and Peta's flirt therapy
If
you live in the United States, you can order
my new book via
this USA link.
'Flirt
Coach' on
amazon.com'
If
you live in the UK or Eire, you can order
my new book via
this UK link
'Flirt
Coach' on
amazon.co.uk
Flirting
Academy
- First for Flirting -
UK's only Flirting Academy
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