Flirting
Academy
First for Flirting - UK's only flirting academy
0700 4 354
784 +44 700 4 354 784
info@flirtingacademy.com
Leading
A Spiritual/Holistic Life can sometimes be tough.
I
was having an out of body experience one day so I grounded
myself and got centered with the help of my spirit guides and
almost astral traveled anyway, but the phone rang.
I
sensed the negative vibrations so I threw the I-Ching and
checked my numerology chart and nearly had a primal, but my
energy was too blocked, so I did some bioenergetics and self
parenting, took some flower essence and ate an organic oat bran
ginseng muffin, but my inner child wasn't feeling nurtured yet
so I had a Rice Dream Frozen Pie too, but that made me hyper so
I did the relaxation response while listening to my subliminal
tapes, but I was feeling depersonalized so I did some polarity
work, foot reflexology and past life regression, then rebirthed
myself and called Moon Beam, the bodyworker, to make an
appointment for a Shiatsu, Reiki, Rolfing, Feldenkreis, Swedish,
Japanese deep tissue massage, but she flaked out and never
returned my call, so I decided to energize my crystals and do
some positive imagery because all my visualization techniques
and affirmations made my space feel invaded, so to get
empowered, I got a psychic reading from Mother HeartLove around
the issue of my assertiveness so I could feel my radiance and
have some energy for my psycho-calisthenics and inversion swing
before my harmonic brain-wave synergy session, which made me
more focused for my actualization seminar, holistic healing
class and dreamworkshop, so I'd be more clear for my Gestalt
behavioral cognitive transpersonal Rechian Jungian Freudian
Ericksonian session at the hot springs but my aura was weak for
my trance-channeling group so I fasted until noon to recharge my
chakras and I sensed my intuition was high and my cycle was
focused, so I turned on my ion generator to open up for my
neural-linguistic programming session, but I needed to have my
pyramid recharged before my guided synchronicity meditation, so
I got some cranio-sacral therapy, which aligned me for the fire
walk, which was between my tarot card reading and my sensory
deprivation tank appointment, but after all that I felt what I
truly needed was a meaningful relationship to mirror myself so I
went to my personal shaman, and then to my guru, but they were
no help, so instead I went to the Intensive Whole Life Earth
Rebirth Cosmic Expo Symposium Workshop to find someone who
really knew what was going on, but that didn't work either, so I
locked myself in a calcium coated Orgone Box and went to sleep
so I could "get it" in the dream state.
Smile,
it's a complete pisstake!
