Flirting with Flirt Zone - The Flirting Academy Flirting workshops, articles, tips, newsletter, coaching, coaching, outings, first for flirting in the UK.
What's on this Site?
You can order
'Flirt Coach' by clicking on the book cover above
Training/Courses
Flirting
Academy Services
Overview
Training
Courses
Events Diary
Courses and workshops
What
happens on a flirting course? FAQ
Amsterdam
testimonials
Testimonials
More Testimonials
How
coaching works
Personal Coaching
Corporate
Courses
Articles,
Info, Motivation
Articles
Tips
Doc
Love
Motivational
Quotes
Sample
Flirt Workout
Peta's rantings Column dating relationships and rantings updated 26/3/01
Peta's
sex news
updated 31-May-01
Peta's
column - archives
Media
Media coverage
Reprinted
media articles
Creative Partnership with Phillip Hodson
Newsletter
E-Zine signup
Latest
issue - winter 2000
Psychology
NLP
Joseph
Riggio - Peta's mentor and teacher!
Personally
Peta
Peta's bio and
info
Friends updated
3/01
Save
the Earth
Global
Rennaissance Alliance
Links
NLP
Flirting/Seduction
Personal Dev
Solutions
Get
help by email
Peta's
solution page
Case Histories
- updated Jan 01
New case history with Peta's comments
Fun Stuff
In-fun-ate Seer
Jokes
new jokes added Dec 00
Contact
us
Mail us - click the envelope!
UK 0700 4 354 784 [0700 4 FLIRTING]
ex UK +44 700 4 354 784
Types of coaching available and Rates
Types of coaching available and Rates
Types of coaching available and Rates
Types of coaching available and Rates
Flirt Zone - How Coaching Works
Flirt Zone - First for Flirting - UK's only Flirting Academy
Why might you want a coach?
Every
day you will think over 60 million thoughts If you are not flirting
and connecting successfully it is probably because most of those 60
million thoughts are negative!
Some of us mis-programme ourselves on a regular basis
You may talk badly to yourself “He/she wouldn’t be interested in me”
Copyright © 1999 Peta Heskell
You may see yourself failing or being rejected yet again “I’m bound to get another ‘no’"
You
may feel the fallout from what hasn’t even happened yet “I’ll
just get hurt so why bother”
Some
of us are mis-programmed by parents, siblings, teachers
“You’ll
never be a charmer like your brother”
“It’s such a pity you inherited your father’s looks”
“Stop dreaming of what you can’t get, find yourself a steady job
and buckle down!”
Often
well meant, these attitudes don’t create self-confident, socially
attractive individuals
Some of us are mis-programmed by past events like rejection.
Each
time you go to ask someone out, do you remember in glorious
technicolour and sensurround every painful detail, replaying it over
and over in your head until
you create a horror show that freezes you like a rabbit in the
headlights?
Most
of what you are creating for yourself is unwanted garbage
Time
to sling it in the bin and give your mind a spring clean!
Remember,
if your brain can create all this bad stuff, it’s just as capable
of creating good stuff too.
Flirt
coaching
is
designed to banish the blocks that prevent people from believing in
their ability to attract others into their lives and replacing
negativity with positive hope and joy!
Flirt
coaching works
by teaching you how to recreate your individual internal world. We
blank out the bad movie, erase the lousy sounds, banish the bad
feelings and teach you to replace them with oscar winning
performances, sweet music and feelgood
sensations of YOU at your very BEst.
Who
might benefit from Flirt coaching?
Some people just feel too
shy or concerned to expose themselves in a group. That's fine, there
are courses for horses in my work. Many people have called me and
suggested that they would like one or two private sessions before
they attend my workshops. Other people just want the luxury of
a private session!
You probably have your
own personal fears, self-doubts and insecurities about your ability
to interact socially with great success. It may be you don't
know when to stop flirting, or it may be that you can't bring
yourself to flirt when you need to.. Whatever the challenge, for you
a few one-to-one sessions might be just the ticket to get you out
there starting to have fun.
I am currently seeing a
number of clients who came to me as a result of hearing about my
flirting workshops but were grateful that I also offered an
alternative more personally focused service. It may be for
you...READ ON and find out!
What
is my coaching based on?
I use a mixture of NLP
[neuro-linguistic programming] changework [I am a licensed trainer
of NLP trained by the originator Richard Bandler over 3 years]
and the MythoSelf TM
process of which I am one of only 12 licensed facilitators in the
UK.
The MythoSelf TM
process helps you to discover your perfect personal blueprint,
feel how you embody it and learn how to re-access it more and more
so that you begin to live and interact with the world from the
core of who YOU are!
NLP is the study
of excellence and what can be modelled from it. The originators of
NLP modelled excellent communicators and found out that they had
certain physiological patterns, and used language that was both
influential and created a positive perception of past and future
events. In short they
learnt that people have control over their emotions and thoughts and
that their brains can not only create bad patterns but also good
ones. It is those good
patterns that I help you to generate and use to create a better life
for you!
Types of coaching available and Rates
How
do I use it in coaching ?
Everyone is totally
unique. I watch and listen for the clues my client gives. I work
with the client using their own sensory perceptions of the world to
recreate feelings, sights and sounds so that things appear
differently. This is what I will do with you. Each client is totally
unique so my flirting coaching is tailored to YOU and no one else. I
don't use techniques -beware
of therapists who say they have a technique for you.
I use on you the same
methods and ways of changing that I have used on myself over the
past 10 years. I know
it works because I turned around my own life, by reprogramming my
perceptions and expectations and discovering and working from who I
really am. When
I observe, listen and sense, I find myself doing what is right for
YOU at the moment I am with YOU, based on what YOU demonstrate or
tell to me, often hidden in the way you use your words, what words
you use, the movements
that you make and a
host of minimal clues you give out.
Here are some examples:
Copyright
© 1999 Peta Heskell
Example
1 – shut up those voices and start talking nice to yourself!
This
client was fed up with never getting further with women than being a
brother to them. Admittedly he was no Mel Gibson, but look around,
it's not just the lookers who are married or in happy relationships.
But, like everyone, he had some great qualities - humour,
intelligence.
When
I listened to him, I noticed that as he described his approach to
women, I sensed some movement in his eyes that suggested he could be
recalling some kind of sounds and that they might be self-talk.[People
move their eyes to different places depending on whether they are
mentally accessing visuals, sounds or feelings or even self talk].
I
asked him 'What happens just before you approach a woman?'. I had to
get him to rewind an event and slow down to find minimal clues], but
he finally realised with much surprise that he said to himself
"Nothing
much will come of this". Boy was he setting himself up for
a fall and indeed nothing much did come of these encounters. He
might make friends, but nothing more. Making friends is a great step
towards flirting for getting a date, sex and longer term things but
this client stopped there.
And that’s what he got, just good friends.
We worked with his internal voices and changed them. I gave
him some exercises to do in positive self talk, to replace the
voices with those of someone he considered very sexy and to change
the words to 'mmmm lovely lady - who knows what great things
might come of this'.
I
got him to visualise himself charming the pants of someone [not
quite literally] and encouraged him to believe that he would pull
with his charm and humour - after all my poll reveals that humour is
the major factor women look for in a man, followed by confidence.
Interesting stuff eh? This doesn’t mean that sexuality is not
important.
We are all sexual beings and should be aware of the sexual
energy that exists in all encounters.
Some of us need to learn how to turn our sexuality up or down
as appropriate.
This client turned it off completely which prevented him
sending out those signals women pick up on at an unconscious
‘below stairs’ level.
Others turn it up too often and too high… All these
challenges can be resolved in the work I do with people. In
this client’s case he came to see me for 3 sessions.
Example 2 - Change the way the picture is held and you change the reaction inside
This is not a flirting example, but it is such a clear indication of how NLP works so well that I included it. Many people who are not getting the results they want in love can be helped just as easily.
My client wanted to drive a 40 ton lorry for a living. He didn't want to spend the considerable sum of money required to get his licence because 'he couldn't see himself getting into such a large lorry'. When he told me this I asked him where he saw this [I suspected that if he couldn't see himself getting into the lorry he either couldn't visualise it OR he was visualising it in such a way that it made it too challenging for him].
I worked with his picture, making it smaller, and then did some work on raising his resources. What was good in his life? He had talked earlier about his children...with obvious joy, so I led him to that subject. Their birth and his being present at it changed his facial expressions, brought colour to his face and started him breathing differently. I asked him if that felt good and where he felt it. He nodded vigorously and pointed to an area around his chest, patting it with his hand.
Richard Bandler said once 'your client will tell you EVERYTHING you need to know'. How true. When you hone up your sensory acuity and use what people give you, you can really shift things.
I used these positive resources to counteract his bad feelings, got him to literally walk into the future and see his by now small picture of him getting into a lorry [yes I got him into it in his mind, once I shrunk the picture down to manageable size] whilst he accessed thoughts of his family and what it would mean to them having the extra income.
At the end he shook his head like people do when they have experienced something almost unbelievable. He kept saying, I feel so changed. RESULT and a great one. AND it was recorded for TV too!
Copyright © 1999 Peta Heskell
Example 3 - Here come da judge!
She is 35, attractive and wanting to find a partner. I don't know what
happened specifically, but we just started talking and laughing. She had an ironic sense of humour. I started to discover how she was at her best. She sat up and opened out a little [she had been sitting very tensely and as if closed in on herself and stiff and I felt her trying to hold herself in. She said at her best she was warm, sexy and passionate. She also said, hmm warm is not a word I use for myself.
Then for whatever reason that came into my mind from some unconscious realisation of her accessing her best, I got her to open out..'Open your legs, access the deepest sense of you, right from between your legs'.. and I started some hypnotic conversational talk.. she looked at me entranced...she smiled sort of but she did it.. she changed..
Somehow I had this instinct about her opening out.
She mentioned her mother.. her Jewish mother, whose whole life appeared to be one of continuous judgement of others.. she also remarked how herself had learned this judgemental stuff. She accessed a certain side of her body and looked in a place.. As she did so, I looked there and laughed..I started to imitate what she might be saying in a jokey way 'he's no good, he's got too dark blue eyes, his left toe is .5 of a centimeter too long.. etc joking outrageously and then said, 'so you put on the curly wig and kvetch and complain'.. in a jewish accent.. she laughed so much.. so each time the judgemental word came out, or she looked over there, I said, curly wig time.. again in the Jewish accent.. more laughter..
I noticed that when she started to think of herself at her best, she was looking far away and not moving much, then she started to move.. and it seemed as if it was getting more into her body. She talked about drawing stuff to her and moved her hands in unison towards each shoulder.. I got her sitting up straight with legs apart, moving her hands back and forth and asked her how it was.. her face changed colour and I made her do more of it.. and asked her
"Like this, what's possible..
?"
"Everything" she replied.
I gave her an exercise to do, god knows why I did it.. it was instinctive.. I told her to sit quietly for 5 mins and practice this like yoga. rocking her hands back and forth until she started to get that feeling.. and also re-inforced the curly wig thing.so that it would get triggered when she went judgemental
She said she was no good at 'homework'. so I said 'What?, you want to come to me for the rest of your life and pay and pay and
pay great.. if that's what you want.. or you can help yourself some..
" she laughed.
I want her to come back mostly because I know that I can continue to do this work with her until she is ready to lock it into some future intent.. and she has already started by giving up a
solid career, to follow her art, working with her hands,
so she's on the edge of greatness...and I'm gonna love working with her.. until she's ready to go... and watch her fly.... soon..it's such fun..
Example 4 -
Sexuality awareness - turn it up or down, never off!
Toby came to me for flirting tips. We went to a local bar to work. We sat and chatted and we did a lot of stuff.. towards the end, I remembered
my mentor demonstrating on myself and another girl how he could suddenly do a look that for a moment talked to us 'below stairs'. He had turned up the sexuality.
That was a wow for me. That one could do this turning it on and off and become so sexually attractive.. and also keep it down in normal interactions so as to maintain the level of attraction and thus communication where it belonged.. above stairs! If I could teach people to do this, wouldn't it be amazing. I felt sure it was a clue to the problems so many men face of not being desired by women in a sexual way, only in a friendly way. They must be turning it off!
I told Toby this story, and a few others, and then did the look to him.. and he went WOW! How can I do that. I told him it was about being able to calibrate his sexuality..from really low and resting to completely turned on. He could then go up the scale and discover the different phases.. as he turned it up, so he could do the look... I won't go into details
here but I got him to access in his mind a level of his sexuality but with respect and without
luridity. And I was playful and reminded him this was just about helping him learn about himself.
He was extremely happy with this new realisation and I suspect it
will give him the edge he needed to be more himself and put himself
out there more. On my recommendation he is also taking dance lessons from an NLP merengue teacher!
Joseph Riggio once told me that some
clients will kick in after getting just one thing in a single
session, whilst at the other end of the scale, some may spend a long
time searching for what they already have. Only you will know.
Doing this kind of work is joyful and fun and it works.. and its a whole form approach.. as
my Joseph told me long ago,[in paraphrase] its about bringing them to the realisation in whole form of what is for them the best way to be, and to access this and operate more and more from this space, and then its about locking
in this and your awareness of your place in the world, to an intent for
how you your life is to be and drawing towards you what is already
waiting for you out there.
Copyright © 1999 Peta Heskell
How
does this work relate to flirting or non-flirting?
I will work with you in
the same way I worked with this client – observing your movements,
speech and behaviour and working to correct what is preventing you
from making progress. What I do with
you will be what is right for YOU and YOU alone [not alone for long
though!!!] I will be Asking you questions, listening to your words,
watching your movements, noticing where you put your hands how your
body shifts and face changes. For example, If you say you are frozen
[as one client did] , immediately I begin to think 'will 'melting'
help here'? How does being frozen serve a positive purpose for them?
How can we unfreeze them.
Types of coaching available and Rates
You
can change block-building
beliefs about your ability to flirt and connect
Many people who want to
flirt or connect with others just can't do so because they are
blocking themselves in some way. How they do the blocking is very
unique and individual to them. It may be something they created as a
result of a past experience, a kind of protection. It might be
something they visualise, voices they hear, feelings that immobilise
or frighten them. Some women believe that 'there are no men out
there' or that 'all the good ones are taken'. Some men believe that they will always get rejected.
These kind of beliefs will prevent you from connecting with
someone. If we think
things will go bad for us, invariably we will gravitate towards or
create circumstances for us to justify our beliefs.
The good news is that
beliefs can be changed. After
all at one time you believed in Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, now
you don't. In order to create great beliefs, I work with
my clients to recognise their unique qualities and develop a
body of evidence that supports these beliefs.
You
are truly perfect, wonderful and unique
My work is about helping
you to unfold the true wonder of you.
“We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to
make manifest the glory within us”
Those words quoted at his inaugural speech by Nelson Mandela,
are a guiding light to how we can be. All it takes is for you to discover what is truly great about
you and know how you store that in your body and access it more and
more.
Once you begin to realise, with my help, your true blueprint, the old beliefs seem to fade away as you realise that anything is possible. Only then can the flirting tips and techniques help you to polish your social interaction skills and become flirtier and more fun to be around.
Copyright
© 1999 Peta Heskell
You can reframe 'failure' and 'rejection'
They always say no - I'll
never get a date..
Failure should not be a
sign to give up but a sign that you need to do something different
or try someone new! It
is not a prompt to give up!
-
How often do you create massive generalisations using words like 'always', 'never' 'no-one'.
-
How often do you use the words 'can't' or 'impossible'.
-
How quickly do you give up after failing to get the results you want? Once, twice, three times?
When you were learning to
walk, did your carer say each time you fell down - "well dear,
you obviously won't succeed at walking so you had better give up and
accept your shortcomings"? Of course s/he didn't. S/he just
encouraged you to keep trying, and you did and soon you walked
easily and effortlessly. I
will help you to refocus on day to day events by looking for the
possibilities not the barriers.
If no one asks you out
for a year or if you get a ‘no’ when you ask someone out or,
what do you do? Do you say 'that's it, no one wants to go out with
me'. If you do then that may be what's stopping you. You have just
given up. Good sales people know that failing to get the result they
want when they ask is just an indication that they are one step
closer to success. Susan Bradley,an American flirt coach says that
when you get a knock back there's just one word to remember 'NEXT'.
I wholeheartedly agree. A ‘no’ is not about rejection, it is
about someone making a decision that is right for them and you
wouldn't want to end up with someone who doesn't like YOU when there
are so many more out there who will!
How
I can help you..
After
reading about how I work, you may be thinking, now you can get help
to change, how much different will your life be! Stop thinking and
start doing. After all you won't experience any changes unless you
take the first step and pick up the phone to call me or send me an
email.
Now
click on the link below to find out about
Phone Coaching? Personal Coaching? E-Coaching? plus RATES
Email: coaching@flirtzone.com
Call: 0700 4 354 784 [BT standard rates]
I'm waiting to help you take the first steps on the road to happy flirting, happy dating happy interacting and whatever else you want next.
Home | Services | Workshops | Articles | Events |Media| coaching | Tips | NLP | Testimonials | NLP Links/Pix| | Seduction Flirting Links | In-FUN-ate Seer | Jokes | Workout | Poll | Problems | Mail | Peta | | E-News signup | Top |
Copyright © 1999-2001 Peta Heskell